- An impromptu Yogurtini night with Callie, Christie, Andrea and Keely (along with assorted children). Sitting there with these women, I just felt a sense of grace and peace. There is no pretending, no underlying tension – we are just there and fully enjoy each other and I love that.
- Celebrating Dan’s 9th birthday with him and his family
- A new haircut and color – in the spirit of moving on I decided to change my haircolor back to “mostly” brunette. I love my stylist and she did an awesome job matching the photo that I brought in. I know that I pay a lot to get my hair done but it is so relaxing to just sit there and be fussed over and made to look pretty; I think that feeling alone is worth any cost right now
- The excitement I feel about my race tomorrow – it’s my first EVER 5K and I haven’t been able to train much this week due to my throat issues but I picked up my race packet today and I’m determined to give it all I’ve got tomorrow.
- Hearing the song Courageous on the radio multiple times today – I don’t know what it is about this song but I absolutely love it. I know that it’s about Men of God and living up to actually BEING a man of God and I think for me that is something that I SO need to believe in and that I need to know exists. Especially since K always talked about God and religion with me and I thought that he meant what he was saying but come to find out that he was just telling me what he thought I wanted to hear. I need to know that good Christian men exist out there and this song, for the 2 minutes that I’m listening to it, does just that.
I really had a very blessed day – most of it thanks to all my amazing friends who kept me busy. A friend recommended a Positive Affirmations CD and my goal for the next week is to listen to it every day. I need to download it on my iPhone so that I can put it in at work when the guys on the floor start being obnoxious. I’m trying so hard to rewrite all those negative thoughts in my head and to not let my mind wander to the things that hurt so much. But I guess that I’m torn because I have some great memories of some people who ended up treating me pretty horribly and my head is having trouble figuring out what to do with those memories. Do I just try to push them out and pretend it never happened? And if so, does that make the past 2 years of my life meaningless? And if I’m not, then how do I make those memories not hurt so much?